manusia, human. insan

Have you ever felt like going back? Have you ever felt regret? As if you could go back to that one point in time, where you wish you'd acted in another way. Or if you didn't say what you ever said.
Or you never did what you ever did, because you knew what you did was wrong, since you had a bad feeling in your heart, telling you that you have erred. And you want to fix things and make everything okay, but you just don't know how...
I'm sure most of us have felt that way, simply because we are human... And the nature of humans, we always make mistakes... And we always do wrong.
As humans, we are full of imperfections... But it is how we handle those imperfections, how we improve ourselves, how we fulfil our responsibilities as a servant and as a caliph in this world that matters in the end...

I am human. I am not perfect

I'm not the best servant of the Almighty God,
I'm not the best daughter,
I'm not the best friend,
I'm not the best leader,
I'm not the best follower,
I'm definitely no angel,
Who never does any wrong.

I have wronged. I have made mistakes. And sometimes I don't know how to go back to that place where everything was right. Sometimes I don't know how to make it right.
But... We try to do good, and try to show a good example as a human being, and do our best so that our flaws and wrongs aren't flaunted to the whole world, not so that people would think us an angel... Not so that we can be called a goody-two-shoes, but because of what the prophet reminded us a long time ago, and his words still prevail:

مَنْ سَنَّ فِي الإِسْلاَمِ سُنَّةً حَسَنَةً فَلَهُ أَجْرُهَا وَأَجْرُ مَنْ عَمِلَ بِهَا بَعْدَهُ مِنْ غَيْرِ أَنْ يَنْقُصَ مِنْ أُجُورِهِمْ شَيْءٌ، وَمَنْ سَنَّ فِي الإِسْلاَمِ سُنَّةً سَيِّئَةً كَانَ عَلَيْهِ وِزْرُهَا وَوِزْرُ مَنْ عَمِلَ بِهَا مِنْ بَعْدِهِ مِنْ غَيْرِ أَنْ يَنْقُصَ مِنْ أَوْزَارِهِمْ شَيْءٌ

Siapa saja yang mencontohkan di dalam Islam contoh yang baik maka untuknya pahalanya dan pahala siapa saja yang melakukannya setelah dia karena mencontohnya tanpa berkurang pahala mereka sedikitpun. Siapa saja yang mencontohkan di dalam Islam contoh yang buruk maka atasnya dosanya dan dosa siapa saja yang melakukannya setelah dia karena mencontohnya tanpa berkurang dosa mereka sedikitpun. - HR Muslim, Ahmad, Ibn Majah dan An-Nasa'i

Anyone who pointed out in Islam a good example , then for them are their reward and the reward of anyone who do it after them, because of following them; without decreasing their reward in the least. Anyone who pointed out in Islam the bad example , upon them are their sins and the sins of anyone who do so after them, in following them; without decreasing the least of their sins. - Muslim, Ahmad, Ibn Majah dan an-Nasa'i

مَنْ دَعَا إِلَى هُدًى، كَانَ لَهُ مِنَ الأَجْرِ مِثْلُ أُجُورِ مَنْ تَبِعَهُ، لاَ يُنْقِصُ ذَلِكَ مِنْ أُجُورِهِمْ شَيْئًا، وَمَنْ دَعَا إِلَى ضَلاَلَةٍ، كَانَ عَلَيْهِ مِنَ الإِثْمِ مِثْلُ آثَامِ مَنْ تَبِعَهُ، لاَ يُنْقِصُ ذَلِكَ مِنْ آثَامِهِمْ شَيْئًا

Siapa saja yang mengajak pada petunjuk maka untuknya pahala semisal orang yang mengikutinya, hal itu tidak mengurangi pahala mereka sedikitpun. Siapa saja yang mengajak pada kesesatan maka atasnya dosa semisal dosa orang yang mengikutinya, hal itu tidak mengurangi dosa mereka sedikitpun. - HR Muslim, Ahmad, ad-Darimi, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, at-Tirmidzi, Abu Ya'la dan Ibn Hibban

Anyone who invites toward the guide(hidayah) then upon them is the reward of those who follow, it did not reduce their reward in the least. Anyone who calls towards misguidance(dholalah) then upon them is the sin of those who follow them, it did not reduce the least of their sins. - Muslim, Ahmad, ad-Darimi, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah, at-Tirmidzi, Abu Ya'la dan Ibn Hibban
Dearest readers, if we understand these hadiths holistically, we would be very afraid to do any sins and show it to others, and create a very bad stock exchange and become very poor...
Instead, we would want to show others any good deed we can, so that if they do good just by following us, we would get the reward even if we didn't do it ourselves! Simply by showing a good deed and causing other people to do good as well, it would make us very rich indeed! Not rich here, but in akhirah insyaAllah...
But of course, we must remember that we do good only for Allah and no one else... We try to be a good example not because we want people's approval, but because we want Allah's blessing in our lives.
Allah is our Creator, He knows us more than we do. He knows that we are always forgetful and sometimes disobedient in obeying Him.
But He asks us to hide it, don't show it to others, because the nature of humans, we tend to follow things that happen around us.
If we don't hold tight to our two sources, the Quran and Sunnah, we can easily stray, we can easily follow whatever we see, no matter it is wrong or right, since our minds isn't limitless. It has its shortcomings..
That's why we are asked to hide our aib from other people... We don't only have a responsibility to hide other people's aib, but we have a duty to honor ourselves, and protect our aib and not show it to others...
Because realise it or not, showing a bad example in Islam to other people is as if we are no longer ashamed of our wrongs. What if others follow us? Nauzubillah...
I'm sure we don't want to 'accumulate' a stock of sins just because we were careless to show to other people a sign of our disobedience to He who created us...
We're not the best servant who does too many amal... Therefore we don't want the little amal that we do to be cancelled out by that worthless stock that we 'bought'...
However, we do realise that we can try our best, but sometimes our faults can be seen clearly by other people. Only in Allah lies perfection. May our flaws become a reminder to us, that we are weak, we are forgetful, we are full of weaknesses.
We embrace our flaws, but we don't cherish it and enjoy it. Instead, we strive to become better each and everyday... So that we can truly fulfill our purpose of life which is as a servant of Allah and as a khalifah on the land of Earth.